Man Loses Penis Over $50 Bill

Written by Bureau

Saturday, 12 September 2009


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Man Loses Penis Over $50 Bill

Billy Ray Hampton, a Nashville, Tennessee man told Nashville police that he was knocked down by an irate customer Friday night, and while he was stunned, the fuming woman cut off his penis.

At Vanderbilt Hospital where surgeons are trying to reattach the man's severed unit, Hampton told The Music Silly News that a woman had came into the Pop Stop where he worked as second shift cashier and bought a few things, got some gas and handed him a $5.00 bill.

When he told her the amount he needed was $23.75 she stated that she knew that and was waiting for her change.

He then told her that she had only given him a $5.00 bill and the woman became very angry.

"I think she was already mad about something or somebody when she came in", stated Hampton, "because she kept saying to herself 'I'll fix his sorry ass!' kind of whispering.

She then insisted Hampton give her her change and finally struck him on the head with a pop bottle.

"Then she came back behind the counter, grabbed some money from the register and cut off my penis while she kept referring to me as 'Chester'."

Nashville police stated that the perp had then apparently later spotted her $50.00 bill still in her purse and went back to apologize.

"When we finally got there..ahem..when we got there in a hurry, the woman was apologizing to Hampton while he squirmed on the floor as she attempted to reattach his penis", one officer reported.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more