LONDON (ABSNN) -- Skoob1999, beloved writer for TheSpoof.com, admitted Monday morning that, due to certain extenuating circumstances, he had bowed to repeated requests by his wife, Mrs. Skoob (demands actually), to submit to penis enlargement.
"I had to save my marriage," Skoob told his confessor, Monsignor Franccois Dubois, S.J.
"We all know that Skoob is first in the hearts of his readers; and first in the hearts of his peers. Skoob has been an always faithful (if somewhat inadequate) husband to Mrs. Skoob.
"And with the 'natural male enhancement' he has voluntarily undergone, he will discover new territory in the--he will be the first to penetrate--things will be different for the two Skoobs," said the smiling Monsignor.
Mrs. Skoob was silent when asked questions regarding the Skoobster's new wooster, by Spoofers covering the news conference. She had a demure, half-smile on her beatuiful face, but seemed a bit distracted "by all of the hubbub over her hub's bub,"
Skoob was finally driven to seek medical intervention after several articles appeared on TheSpoof.com news pages and forums that reported on his slight stature in the pecker department.
He repeatedly denied the rumors of his short-comings, and went so far as to pay world renowned photographer, Frankie the J, to photograph Morse's more than adequate pecker and then to Photoshop it on his scrawny body whislt on a pleasure cruise.
"My shame has ended," said Skoob as he exposed his brand new eight-inch ding-a-ling that he promptly named "The New Love Boat."
However, he refused to allow Mrs. Skoob to christen his schlong by breaking a bottle of bubbly on his new wubbly.
"Wouldn't be prudent," he said with a smile.