WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what political pundits are calling a first ever for the U.S. Senate, a senator had to be pepper sprayed because of his out-of-line actions.
President Obama was talking about how he wanted to dispel the rumor that he was getting ready to have the wall between the United States and Mexico taken down.
Suddenly from the cheap seats up in the balcony one of the Republican senators shouted "That's a big lie, and your nose is starting to grow."
Two secret service agents quickly pounced on the senator, placed him in handcuffs, and started to lead him towards the door and out into the hall.
The senator, who was later identified as South Carolina Senator Joey Wilsonowitz, 93, broke free from the two agents and started back towards his seat.
Secret Service Agent Auburn Teafurst fearing that the other members of the senate were in peril took out his canister of pepper spray and hit Wilsonowitz with two quick shots.
Wilsonowitz started rolling around on the senate floor like a flounder out of water and he began crying like a little school girl. His cries then grew louder, reminiscent of Brett Favre's sobs each year when he announces his retirement.
By now the president had sat down due to the tremendous commotion being caused by the pepper-sprayed senator. Even House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that she is 69 and a half-years-old and she has never once in her life cried like Wilsonowitz was crying.
Democrat Senator Chippy Hoywater, Jr., of Wyoming suggested that maybe the southern senator needs to be gender tested because he sure did sound like one of those female dancers that get cut from the dancing show So You Think You Can Dance.
The Secret Service agents were going to be taking Senator Wilsonowitz to D.C. Police Headquarters but he apologized and said that he would behave if he was allowed to return to his seat.
Secret Service Agent Teafurst called the president on his cell phone knowing that he was just sitting down and said that the senator had apologized and that he wanted to return to his seat.
The president said to escort the troublemaker to his seat and to stay with him, and if he so much as burped to put him in handcuffs and take him downtown.
After a seven minute interruption, the president resumed his speech. Two hours and fifteen minutes later the president said that he was going to end the speech because it was getting late and the U.S. Senate maids, Jasmine, Catriona, and Effluvia had to get busy dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping so that they could at least leave the senate building by 2 a.m.
In other news. Denzel Washington has just agreed to star in Universal Pictures, Oops, The Van "Green Jobs" Jones Story.