WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) -- President Barack Obama spoke directly to school children across the US this morning and laid their fears to rest regarding Universal Health Care, Universal Education from K to BA, and several other issues facing the US in this critical period of change-over from a free enterprise system to complete and utter socialism.
"We will have your mommies and daddies rounded up and placed into special camps where they will be humanely euthanised," said the President.
"They won't feel a thing, and their deaths will save the US economy billions and billions of dollars annually so that we can keep repeat rapists, child molesters, and serial killers in comfortable country club prisons."
"Children under the ages of ten will also be placed in reeducation camps run by the Democratic Party where they will learn to subsist of welfare checks for the rest of their lives while they get even fatter and dumber and die at early ages," said Nevada Senator Harry Reid.
"The additional deaths from Type II diabetes alone will save and awfully big chunk of change that the House and Senate will then divide equally among Democrats in office," Reid told the children.
Students above the age of ten years will live in their homes under the supervision of ACORN activists who will feed them Mark Lowton's pickled eggs.
Not every school in the US allowed the President's message to be broadcast to their students. Schools in North and South Carolinia, the Virginias, and Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi were immediately put under the supervison of the Army National Guard.
Everything you have read in this report is utter bullshit--at least, it is so far.
