Cockfight Between UK and USA Looking Increasingly Likely As Peace Initiative Breaks Down

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 6 September 2009


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The scene of the cockfrontation - New York.

The threat of an impending cockfight between the USA and the UK appeared to have been averted today, with UK Premier Brown stating that he had never intended to challenge President Obummer to a cockfight, much less a full scale invasion.

"My words were, unfortunately taken out of context," a nervous looking PM told the UN Security Council in New York, frequently taking long pauses to compose hiself and mop perspiration from his brow with a pink silk handkerchief.

"I categorically did not challenge the President to a cockfight. Absolutely not. I merely remarked that cockfights were popular in parts of the far east, but he appeared to take my remark out of context and understood it to be a challenge."

News footage of the incident depicted the President and Mr Brown strolling on the White House lawn, apparently chatting amicably, until at 3:32 into the footage, President Obummer is seen to dramatically recoil away from Mr Brown, and can clearly be heard saying:

"Say whit? You wanna cock-wrestle wit ma mudderfuggin' Johnson! Git this skirt wearin' mothafugger offa ma Goddam lawn RIGHT NOW!"

A posse of Secret Service men were then seen to bundle the PM into a Chinook chopper.

The exchange was undeniably blown out of all proportion by the media, and quickly escalated to the security status of DefCon1.

Talk abounded of the UK being "absolutely determined to recolonise the United States even if they have to ally themselves with 'axis of evil' states in order to achieve that goal."

Just when it seemed that the threat had been passed off as a simple misunderstanding, following Mr Brown's long and grovelling denial of challenge issuement, there was a surprise development at the UN which turned this whole story on its head.

At 3:34pm EST a group of men bundled their way into the UN Security Council Headquarters, where they confronted President Obummer and other American delegates. The men were wearing long black leather coats, white shirts with black neckties, pristinely pressed black trousers, heavy duty brogue shoes and sunglasses. Oh, and some of them wore hats.

When challenged by security guards and cops, the group of about twenty or so stood their ground by striking dramatic martial arts attack poses.

Their leader took the microphone from PM Brown's hand and said:

"You won't know me at all. But as a true representative of Great Britain, unlike this bumbling fool standing alongside me, I will tell you this America:

"I once was the possessor of a miniscule penis. I mean, it was tiny. I would have struggled to touch the sides of a drinking straw with it.

"Thanks to American medical excellence, I received a penis transplant. I now have the penis of a horse. And this thing is huge. I have much to love America for. But this cockfight crap is just taking it too far.

"So, President Obummer, if you want a cockfight, I'm your man. I promise you, in a cockfight, I will bat that little swizzle stick wiener of yours into oblivion.

"So how about it?"

As we speak the drama continues to unfold inside the UN Building.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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