While the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of government has sufficed for over 200 years, President Barack Obama has created a fourth branch to deal with the civilization and society of the modern world. Said Obama, "back when the founding fathers framed the constitution and created our government, they were not aware of the societal structures and problems that would occur in modern times. As such, I am creating another branch of our federal government to deal with this."
The new branch will be spun off from the White House Press Secretary and the White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises and will be called the Ministry of Truth. For now, this group will be housed in the newly nationalized headquarters of The Washington Post newspaper.
"We also have plans to nationalize the USA Today, Radio Free America, and the television networks and put them all under the control of the Ministry of Truth. Having the government own and control the media has obviously worked in England with the BBC, and I think that it will work here."
Obama's legal justification for the new branch is The Patriot Act and his implied powers of office. "I don't know yet where they are implied, but I'm sure that Oprah and her research team will find them for me somewhere. I'm also grateful to that cracker Dubya for creating the Patriot Act, because it gives me so much more power than any President ever had."
As the new branch will eventually need a large, white noticeable structrure in the Washington D.C. area, Obama also announced that the Mormon Temple will be nationalized. "It will take some work, however, before it is suitable as a government office building. For example, the large mural of Jesus in the entry way will obviously have to be painted over as it is offensive to the people who will be working there."
The Ministry of Truth will also feature a military arm, to be administered by ACORN.
Rush Limbaugh, already in hiding in Canada, announced on Radio Free America that "I guess George Orwell was just 25 years early in his predictions."
Oprah Winfrey approved this message (all except for the sentence above).