What the butler heard - Obama eaves-dropped on whilst talking to the dog

Funny story written by dgwest7

Monday, 24 August 2009

President Obama was recently eaves-dropped while talking to Bo, the White House dog.

Obama: "Looking back at the history of Presidents and their dogs, assassination is far more likely to happen to me than it is to you.

"I would love to do what I said I would do, but that would mean that you would have nowhere to live - so what do you reckon I should do."

The dog replied: "I think you should tell me everything that you would like the general public to know - it's sure to remain a secret with me".

So Obama started to reveal everything that he had learned in his tenure so far.

"For a start," he said, "those bloody bankers have got their filthy strangling hands in every pot imaginable. Since they took over the British Government after the Napoleonic wars, they have gradually perfected the technique of messing with people's heads - can you remember that quote I told you the other day?"

The dog could be seen to quickly tap a few keys on his collar, and suddenly a computerised voice could be heard saying: "We will have succeeded in our mission when everything the American people believe is false."

"Thanks," said the Emperor with no Empire, the King without a kingdom, but he does run a country.

He went on: "These words were spoken by the director of the Completely Incompetent Aliens (CIA), and they have now declared that their mission is complete"

As he had not yet used enough words, he continued:
"Firstly, they believe that they have some influence over who is elected to the White House. Then they believe that the guy in the White House has some ability to change things. Well, most of the predecessors who really tried to change things did not complete their term"

"The truth is that these few power-driven bankers have just about taken total control of just about every facet of just about every government"

The taped oratory continues:

'"All the world's a stage, and one of the biggest movies in production right now is called Happenings at the White House. It is planned t be shown in reverse, so we start with Saddam Hussein swinging from the gallows, pass through his period as a CIA employee, show interviews between Sadam and important CIA controllers, demonstrate how to produce an android double suitable for hanging, show buildings miraculously growing from powdered dust into The World Trade Centre, show how the video of a plane was merged with the The World Trade Centre and was seen by almost the entire world's TV-watching population, who believed it was one movie and not two merged together, it shows the dials of the HAARP mind control machine moving towards maximum as various actors are paraded in front of the camera as supposed witnesses, never to be traced again. Then there is a flash over to the Georgia Guide-stones, and we pan into the words "Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature."

Many people will not quickly understand the significance of those digits, until they realise that today's planetary population is more than twelve times that number, meaning that someone has a plan carved in stone that disposes of eleven out of twelve people. Are you in a room with twelve people - will you be the one single living person from that room?

But of course, this is all untrue,

Everybody knows dogs can't speak.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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