San Diego, California - Known for his pitch black beard almost as much as for the cleaning products he pitched on TV, Billy Mays apparently died of an overdoes of hair dye product claims the finding of a toxicology report released today.
"We all knew he was an occasional user," said a friend of the family. "You know, like every man over forty, he would touch up every now and then."
However, according to the levels of hair dye found in his blood, Mays was more than the recreational user but a habitual one.
Co-workers say that they often found Mays in the office bathroom injecting hair dye directly into his veins, even freebasing it at times.
"I begged him to get help," said James Paulson, Mays's business manger. "I even tried an intervention with him one night."
According to Paulson, Mays had successfully conquered his addiction to hair dye that night but quickly turned completely white literally by the following morning.
"When he showed up at the office the next morning no body recognized him," said Paulson. "He had to force his way past security to get into his office. The police were even called."
Paulson later got Mays a tax break on the hair dye that he was now purchasing in brightly colored yellow industrial sized plastic drums.
"I guess there's a lesson all men facing a head of graying hair in the mirror each day can learn from Mays's story," reflected Paulson. "And I guess that's sometimes going bald is not the worst thing that can happen to man after all."
Due to the high level of toxic hair dye in Billy Mays's system, his body will have to be placed in a special hermetically sealed metallic container and buried at a federally monitored hazardous waste facility, deep underground in an abandoned mineshaft somewhere in the Nevada desert.
