In the strangest twist so far to the strangely-twisting Michael Jackson Kids Saga, former British film star, Mark Lester, has said publicly that he was fathered by the now-dead King of Pop!
Initially, it had been thought that Lester, who played Oliver Twist in Lionel Bart's 1968 extravaganza, Oliver! - don't forget the exclamation mark! - had donated his spaff to Jackson so that the King of Pop could beat his impotence - Ooo-er! - and become a father.
Today though, in an obvious attempt to overcome his 40-year stretch in Obscurity, Lester made the alarming claim that Jackson was, in fact, his Dad, and that Jermaine and all those other muppets, were his uncles!
Janet Jackson is his Auntie Janet!
And that nutcase on Just The Two Of Us, Tito Jackson, is his Uncle Tito!
Tito even has an inverted exclamation mark contained within it!
Lester! told reporters that he was saddened by the death of his 'father', but not as much as he had been by the death of his career, which he now hoped to revive!
Katherine Jackson, the Mother of the King of Pop, has now successfully sold all the other three of her son's 'children', Prince Michael, Prince Michael II and Paris Metro to an eBay buyer for an undisclosed sum.
