Written by queen mudder

Monday, 10 August 2009

image for Mark Lester Piggott denies Paris paternity
The former champion jockey says his sperm motility was neglible after riding 10,000 winners

London - (Reuterus): "Wasn't me who dunnit," the ex-champion flat racing jockey commented today, "too bleedin' saddle-sore to squeeze one out, mate."

Piggott, 69, was being interviewed about reports that he is Paris Jackson's DNA father.

The 20-times champ strenuously denied "any sordid malarkey" such as sperm donation - whether voluntary, involuntary or quasi-accidental - despite being paid $$$s by a Jackson truss fund.

"Whorses, now that's my thing," Piggott reminisced.

"Going to jail for cheating the taxman? Yeah, that was another.

"But shovin' my pecker up some speculum-weilding fertility Doc's arse at half a million dollars a pop?

(Almost audible gulp...)

"Perish the thought."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
86 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more