Kerry to Outlaw Child Smacking

Funny story written by Rebut

Saturday, 3 July 2004

image for Kerry to Outlaw Child Smacking
"I told George over and over, don't mock my cave, it may be small but it's a bitch to find."

John Kerry has confirmed that any child who receives a smack from their parents may file suit for child abuse. A Kerry camp spokesman said that parents would henceforth be encouraged to buy Dr Phil's : Child Psychology the early Years. It's a large, hard covered book, priced at $32.00 and when children are naughty, parents are advised to smash them with it.

In moves to deal with other unsavoury issues :

Big changes at Camp X-ray - Block A prisoners will swap cells with Block B prisoners. This is being termed a prisoner exchange, which should not be confused with a stock exchange.

While cattle are sometimes referred to as stock and these prisoners are treated like cattle, cattle are normally slaughtered while these prisoners are not...wait!!

Work it out for yourselves. I mean what is the point of reading about politics if you can't fathom out simple things like that?

Kerry has also confirmed that he intends clamping down on President Bush who will face a war crimes tribunal and President Clinton who will face a whore crimes tribunal. That is nothing when compared with the penalty being imposed on Jimmy Carter who will be put down. Apparently they had him spayed by a top vet but this has failed to rid him of the debilitative illness - Obsequious Irritantus.

Abroad, Kerry has promised Saddam Hussein that justice will not only be done but it will also seen to be done. In fact he is being so fair about the whole thing that he has even gotten Al Gore to give Saddam his personal endorsement.

Quayle was also going to pitch in but when he stopped past Buckingham Palace, on the way to Iraq, and the Queen was informed that there was a Quayle outside, she shot him.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more