Oh, Deere, Cockshutt Shut Out!

Funny story written by smurfette

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

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just what are those officers trying to pull?

GLENROCK, WYO., USA Things took a turn for the worse during the annual Patriotic Olde Tyme Tractor Pull and Parade which kicked off Redneck Days 2009 when long time entrant and four time tractor pull grand champion Ives Trophez, 76, lined up for the parade driving his newly acquired 1957 Cockshutt 50 Deluxe in place of the John Deere Model H he has always entered.

Glenrock Police Chief Newt V. Smurtt said two of his officers "probably didn't do things the best way" when they repeatedly used a Taser on Trophez while screaming "buy American, bitch boy" after reportedly mad dogging him and calling him a "canuck loving cunt" apparently in reference to his new choice of farm equipment, which was manufactured in Canada.

Chief of Police Smurtt reportedly stated that it did not appear that Trophez had violated any official parade policies, but the two officers contend Trophez disobeyed orders to remove the foreign made equipment from the parade. Trophez contended that the officers have a personal vendetta against him because of the size of his beloved trophies, which he dutifully dusts several times a day and displays proudly at the public library, when interviewed in the hospital, where he is still recovering.

Investigators refuse to disclose any details of the incident; however, one of the officers, who wished to remain anonymous pending the outcome of the investigation, opined,"That girly man should keep his big Cockshutt out on his farm and not be trying to pull it around town, and I'm sick of hearing about him dusting his huge trophies at the library, too."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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