Written by Wire Piddle

Thursday, 23 April 2009

image for Rednecks of America To Billy Bob Thornton - "Shut Up Already!"
Cletus Huckabee IV - President, R.A.A.

Cletus Huckabee IV, President of the Redneck Association of America, has one thing to say to actor, screenwriter, performer Billy Bob Thornton. "SHUT THE F*&% UP".

After enduring the scorn of millions of Youtubers for his scornful treatment of a Canadian though British born radio broadcaster of Iranian descent, Billy Bob Thornton went on an American television talk show to discuss the controversy.

"I was doing a show in Germany one time ... and this woman said something that she wasn't supposed to say and I told her that I received a signal from Venus through a metal plate in my head," said Thornton to show host Jimmy Kimmel.

"He just keeps burrowing in, like a gopher in a rain storm," stated Mr. Huckabee. "Billy Bob Thornton is seen to be the biggest redneck in America and, quite frankly, it's hurting our membership drive. It's guilt by association. The more he says, the worse off we are. Even President Obama has sent us his condolences."

Huckabee stated that he intends to hold a 'million man march' in Washington in July, "... although it's hard to motivate the membership about it. Most of them prefer events where there's a drive thru. Hard to get them out of their Chevies and pickups on a hot summer day, if you catch my drift. Unless there's a watering hole close by...with a tire swing hangin' from a tree...and some girlies in tube tops."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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