Honolulu, HI - Hurricane Fellatio is bearing down on the Hawaiian islands and is expected to reach Honolulu by nightfall as a Category 4, according to members of the U.S. National Hurricane Center.
Said one member, "We expect it to make a pronounced thrust this evening at which time it will start to blow real hard and go down mighty fast."
Disaster preparedness experts have begun to organize on the Hawaiian islands, with protection being distributed to the locals.
"Hurricane Fellatio is coming with ferocious intensity. The last thing we need is to have it blow its wad all over Waikiki Beach without having some form of protection to insulate us from its strength. We urge the public to stay indoors this evening and for hotel owners to board up their properties," local officials surmised.
"It could reach CAT 5. If it makes a left turn, the strength could subside and the islands might just get a good soaking. If it goes left, though, the way it blows, it has the potential to become a really sticky situation."
