LOS ANGELES - The Society For The Right To Bare Arms has just named Madonna as this year's recipient of The Ugliest Female Arms in The World Award.
Society President Ginger Montebudello, 53, said that the singer won 'hands' down. She added that Madonna won due to the fact that she has biceps that a professional wrestler would be proud of.
She also has arm veins that a Calcutta junkie would love to have. The Material Girl also has some very impressive bulging lower arm muscles.
Montebudello said that they are the kind of bulges that girls like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Pamela Anderson, salivate at through the bulge thought transferring process.
When Madonna was contacted by Ms. Montebudello's assistant Pistolita Obispo and told of the award, the 50-year-old singer became somewhat upset.
She yelled out that she did not want to win awards for having strong, manly-looking arms, she wanted to win awards for being pretty, for being sexy, and for being likable.
Miss Obispo laughed and told her that those days, like the train to Timbuktu, had left the station a long, long time ago. Madonna suddenly became enraged and she grabbed Obispo and placed her in a wrestling headlock.
She told her to apologize for making such a stupid remark. Obispo refused saying that it was not a stupid remark and to grow up and face the F'in truth.
Madonna tightened her grip even more. Just then a police officer happened by and he told Madonna to release the young woman immediately.
Madonna said that she would not and that no one could make her. The officer hollered at her to release the young lady at once.
"I will not do it blue boy."
"Release her now you fat, ugly, stupid, has-been witch."
"I am not fat, you Rush Limbaugh-looking loon."
The officer reached in his equipment belt and took out a bottle of pepper spray.
"That doesn't scare me copper. And besides I am Madonna, the famous singer of such hits as "Like A Virgin," "Material Girl," and "Don't Cry For Me Argentina."
"Never heard of 'em!"
"Well at any rate cave boy, don't you even remotely think that you are going to spray me with that damn bottle of pep..."
Pssssssst! Pssssssst! Pssssssst!
"Stop it, you dumb son-of-a-..."
Pssssssst! Pssssssst! Pssssssst!
SIDENOTE: Warner Brothers Studios has just announced that they have signed Cloris Leachman to play Madonna in the motion picture, Madonna - The PMSing Years.
