In a shock revelation, the IPCC (Immediate Prevention of Constabulary Conviction) organisation has stated that the "policeman" who it is alleged struck and injured Ian Tomlinson - who died, possibly as a result of injuries received, was an imposter.
Despite clear video evidence including the incident and the faces and service numbers of other "policemen", the IPCC maintains that it has been unable to identify the culprit.
"There were many facsimile police units on the ground that day" stated Rupert Ursus the IPCC spokesman "the Toytown Special Patrol Group, the Blue Peter Junior Blunkett's Bobbies, the CopWalts and, indeed, the Irish Leprechauns Amalgamated Balamory Black & Tans were all deployed".
"In any case, the overtime claim has been rejected and the alleged police dog bite traced to his own chihuahua" Ursus remarked.
It was also announced that the report would not be made public for 60 years as it could affect future cloud cuckoo land policing strategy.