Al Franken Vacates Minnesota Senate Seat

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

image for Al Franken Vacates Minnesota Senate Seat
Franken dropped by Senate Chamber for quick trim in chair Blago installed to replace Obama's vacant seat.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Former "Saturday Night Live" writer and performer Al Franken resigned from his post as Minnesota Senator today, citing mental exhaustion from an unbelievably tight election, an arduous recount, and a subsequent 7-week court battle over the results of the recount with rival Norm Coleman.

"The campaign for this Senate seat has been long and expensive, and I'm completely drained," said the former "Saturday Night Live" writer and performer elected last November by a margin of 206 votes out of some 2.9 million cast. "Norman can go ahead and have his second 6-year term now, for all I care. He obviously wants it badly enough."

"I just congratulated Al Franken on his victory," said a confused Coleman, nearly eight months after his loss. "I was floored when he told me he's resigning!"

Franken urged Coleman to "get back to work as soon as possible," noting the backlog of unfinished business that has accrued without a confirmed Senator to occupy the Minnesota seat for almost two-thirds of a year.

"The fight ahead, the fight to rebuild our economy and broken health care system, the fight to restore our standing in the world, is a fight America must win," said Franken, "but it's a fight America is going to have to win without me, because I'm so completely over this now.

"I'm going home to take a nap."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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