David Letterman Narrowly Escapes Hit and Run Incident

Funny story written by Asheville Jack

Sunday, 12 July 2009

New York City- David Letterman barely escaped becoming the victim of a hit and run accident early Saturday morning after the taping of his TV show.

Letterman and the head comedy writer for his show Horace "Grizzly" Bear had just exited an up-scale restaurant when a speeding truck ran up onto the sidewalk as they exited the trendy Salmon Run Restaurant near Time Square.

Letterman and Mann were uninjured as they managed to leap out of the way when they heard a shout out from a passerby. Letterman credited John Yukon of North Shore, NJ, with the warning that saved him and his head writer. While Mr. Yukon was not seriously injured in the incident, he required an ice pack to relieve swelling for an injured hand.

Witnesses reported the pickup truck then sped off without stopping and ran through two red lights before turning hard right and heading north on Broadway, known locally as the Great White Way.

The vehicle being sought by police is described as a dirty Ford pickup with possibly Alaska license plates. A police spokesman said they believe the Ford pickup to be red with white stripes and a blue camper top. One witness also reported seeing a "Don't you wish your girlfriend could fish like me" bumper sticker on the tailgate.

Mr. Letterman's attorney Juneau Tundra released a statement saying that while Mr. Letterman had no idea who might wish him harm, that fishing around unnecessarily wouldn't net anything in the long run either.

Police say they continue to investigate the possibility that the hit and run incident may have been intentional, but they say they have few clues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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