David and Posh Beckham were found early this week washed ashore on a shipyard dock, apparent victims of a disastrous oil spill. The sleek shapely bodies of the paparazzi's favorite pair lay seemingly lifeless sprawled upon a dock rope. Like the worst oil soaked birds you have ever seen, the couple had a coagulated film of petrol smeared all over what witnesses first thought were their corpses.
Upon further examination, the pair had a pulse and after not too long they began to breathe on their own and show other signs of life when the camera crews arrived. Victoria's Secretion, Tommy Middlefinger and Italian fashionista Pasta Alioli are in intense negotiations with the oil spill victims for rights to their shimmering photos.