Amid controversey, Sarah Palin mysteriously resigned her post as the governor of Alaska, but a little undercover research has revealed the truth behind her surprising decision. That and a quart-and-a-half of Jack Daniels loosened her lips to this reporter.
"Ever shince I told everyone that I can see RRRussia from my house, nobody, *hic!*, nobody thought to realise that everyone in RRRussia can see MY HOUSE! It was freakin' me out, man!" soon-to-be-ex-governor Palin slurred, gradually sinking in her chair before me.
And surprisingly, it was true; I saw the Big Guy from Russia, Vladimir Putin, wave from his house, and it wasn't pretty!
"It'sh him again, isn't it?! *Hic!*" Palin wailed, staggering out of her chair towards the window that faces the former Soviet Union. "Oh, lookey-there! Boxer shorts with little heartsh on 'em! Charmin'! Lash week it was blue ones with sparkles on 'em with the wordsh 'I Heart Sharah'! Shut yer windowsh, ya horny moosehead! *Burrrp!*"
Seems that Vladimir Putin has been listening in on the goings-on of various American governors, and has been trying to tempt Palin with his own version of vodka and borscht.
"I'm not gonna let that commie horn-dog ruin my life with a secret rende-vezovoodez-roon...meeting. No flippin' way, bucko! Elliot Spitzer of New Yoik had a chick, and Mark Sanford of Shouth Carolinananana went all the way to gull-darn Argentina ta get laid! But, *hic!*, not me, man, no way! So I'm gettin' outta here before some newshpaper that I never read breaks a shtory about another American governor gettin' his or her rocks off witha foreign power! Hey, Putin! SHTOP THAT! Nobody wants ta see you bend that way, ya freakazoid!"
Palin might have resisted temptation, but word is an unnamed governor of Rhode Island was caught planning a hiking trip of his own to a lady love residing somewhere in Outer Mongolia, until the trip clashed with an all-day TLC marathon of 'Cake Boss'.