CHANDLER, AZ - A big brew-ha-ha today at the Boy residence in Chandler, where it was revealed that The Spoof has punished Aspartame Boy for not writing any news stories "in a long time", as the editors claim.
Aspartame Boy's spouse and children are grief-stricken, refusing to eat until Aspartame Boy's RSS news feed is restored to activity.
"Sure they are old stories, but they are timeless. People will be talking about how aspartame kills people for generations to come", Aspartame Boy's son was quoted as saying, on the front porch to a hoard of news reporters.
"I put aspartame in his coffee", his wife said. "When he dies, his stories will be worth millions", she was heard to say, as she returned to the Boy house.
