PETA Declares Jihad

Funny story written by KRS

Friday, 19 June 2009

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On the heels of US President Barack Obama's blatant and heartless public execution of a harmless winged beast, PETA has officially declared a jihad against Sanofi-Aventis, the CDC and the WHO.

On Wednesday, June 17th 2009, drug and vaccine manufacturer Sanofi-Aventis officially declared they are offering 100 million free "medical bullets" designed as genocide directed towards the "Juantanamera Virus," also known as H1N1. PETA finds this unbridled and unannounced plan equivalent to a biological "Pearl Harbor." Making no attempts to negotiate with the life form, Sanofi-Aventis, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) have outlined a global program of annihilation that would make the Holocaust, Darfur, Stalin's purges, Uganda and Rwanda virtually invisible in comparison.

PETA spokesman, Ms. BR Aindead, outlined a planetary offensive that includes gifting piglets to every child in India and the Muslim world. Ms. Aindead also announced a promotion to incite the entire population of the world to boycott the WHO's "Tommy" and at the same time, PETA has announced a $10,000.00 bounty on the capture and detention of Pete Townsend and Roger Daltry.

"Magic Bus, my ass...we'll show those bastards some "Summertime Blues" replied Ms. Aindead. "We plan to attack these brutal capitalistic and propagandist governmental organizations where they live - ROYALTIES!" Sending out an army to destroy 8-track tapes, LPs & CDs while also exposing music servers around the globe with massive magnetic fields to erase all traces of the WHO, PETA hopes to bring an end to the genocide and Diaspora.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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