NASHVILLE - An assistant to country music legend Dolly Parton, 62, has reported that Ms. Dolly will be going on a 73-city tour with The Rolling Stones beginning in April of 2009.
Surprisingly Parton will not be singing or playing music, she will instead be going along mostly to hang out with Mick (Jagger) 65, Keith (Richards) 64, and the rest of the band making sure that they stay away from drugs, alcohol, high-calorie foods, and sex-starved groupies.
Dolly told her assistant that Mick personally called her up and offered her $18 million to be a part of their 73-city tour. Mick assured her that she would have her own private specially designed rhinestone-studded tour bus (equipped with 15 wig holders, and a specially designed chest of drawers that can hold all of Dolly's 214 bras).
Lead guitarist Keith Richards added that if Dolly agreed to cook the band's meals that they would gladly throw in an extra $3 million.
The tour is being hailed as "The Rolling Stones Speed-Bump Tour." The opening act will be Marie Osmond. Sponsors for the tour include; Hershey's Kisses, Crayola, Always Pantiliners, The State of Wyoming, and Whataburger.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: A cousin of Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts, 67, has revealed for the first time ever, that Dolly was actually the inspiration for the Stones' 1969 number 1 hit song "Honky Tonk Women" ).
