LAREDO, Texas - The largest Taco Restaurant chain in the United States, Tacos, Tacos, & Mucho More Tacos, has just announced that it will be conducting it biggest promotion in its 59 year franchise history.
Restaurant owners Mr. and Mrs. Edmundo Cinco de Mayo stated that beginning this Saturday, they will introduce their month long "Swine Flu Free Tacos" promotion. Patrons must be 31-years-old or older.
They must present a valid driver's license, proof of automobile liability insurance, and correctly say the promotional phrase, "I like Tacos, Tacos, & Mucho More Tacos a lot more than I like Taco Bell."
Mr. Cinco de Mayo said that this promotion is just their way of thanking all of their millions of devoted customers not only in Laredo, San Antonio, and East Los Angeles, but in other smaller markets like Providence, Rhode Island; Natchez, Mississippi; and Vancouver, Canada as well.
Mrs. Cinco de Mayo pointed out that their Vancouver restaurant alone had sold more Fried Jalapeno Chingaditos (7.3 trillion) in just one month than the total combined world-wide sale of McDonalds' McNuggets.
When asked if the recent swine flu outbreak had hurt their business Edmundo replied that overall he figured that each of their restaurants had lost maybe three or seven customers at the most.
He said that their widespread television ads and newspaper ads which stated that you were more likely to catch swine flu from eating a sardineburger up in Iceland than you were from eating one of their Vitamin Enriched Enchilada Plates or an order of their Bursting With Nutrients Nachos really helped to educate the American restaurant patrons.
Mrs. Cinco de Mayo proudly interjected that The International Culinary Rating Agency had just last week rated their Pancho Villa Bandito Refried Beans as the best refried beans from Barcelona, Spain to Mexicali, Mexico.
She added that their Cinco de Mayo Pico de Gallo Deluxe Hot Sauce received a ten-star rating which is even hotter than Paris Hilton herself.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Mr. Cinco de Mayo also commented that as per the request of dozens of valued customers they have removed the Sangria wine drink item S-Wine from the drink menu listing and replaced it with its new name Senor Wine).