Written by Bureau

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

image for Social Security: Will The Old Fart Keep Going?

The U.S. Social Security program is ready to turn 75 years old within months.

The system, which has no money, just pieces of paper saying the Government is good for it, went bankrupt before current workers ever saw benefits from it but receive a monthly check that is actually borrowed from future collections.

Still it costs over $500 billion per year.

"Seventy-five years has an obvious symbolic reference," said Social Security Agency historian Garret Cramer. "Social Security has attained retirement age itself and is forced to go back to work as the Baby Boomers blast their way into it's coffers."

"Maybe we could borrow a trillion dollars as the government has been doing and the people's checks would be doubled, we'd spend more, the factories would have to produce more and there would be plenty of decent jobs."

"Of course, NO ONE seems to want to think of all this."

"So I guess Social Security has reached it's Alzheimer's stage."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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