Washington (IP) - Social Security benefits for America's disabled ran out of money last night at midnight. Senator Dempsy Dumpster says not to worry because there is still plenty of money left to line the deep pockets of military contractors and the military-industrial complex in general.
The 375 pound Senator also says that there is still plenty of money to give each congressman a raise so that they are now making $200,000 a year. There is also plenty of money left to prosecute and incarcerate folks caught with a pocket full of marijuana. He said it costs the taxpayer about $50,000 a year to house prisoners and each prosecution costs about $17,500.
Dempsey Dumpster bragged about how there is no delay nor backlog when it comes to prosecuting victimless crime offenders thanks to the Bushstapo's emphasis on law and order and his crusade against the middle class. The Senator says that in contrast to this that there is 520 day backlog for crippled and sick folks waiting to hear Federal appeals on their social security benefit cases. He says, "Oh well, its survival of the fittest you know, ha-ha-ha, he-he-he, and he slapped his knee real hard a few times.
The good Senator pointed out that no one has ever died from smoking pot but that 66,000 Americans are dying each year or are having to sell their homes due to the denial of their social security benefits. He admitted that Americans paid into social security for their entire working lives but that money is better spent on congressmen's raises and the like.
Senator Dumpster is advising the public this election year to focus and worry about Mexicans and on those terrorists hiding under every bed rather than worry about how the Bushstapo has created the biggest government in American history complete with the almost total deterioration of the Bill of Rights. He says that Bush is such a big spender that its enough to make both fiscal conservatives and flaming liberals blush.
The Senator says there is plenty of money for the good folks of Iraq and their infrastructure and that Americans need to keep making sacrifices for the good of the Iraqi people.
He thanked the 66% of social security benefits applicants who were turned down yearly for making possible his big fat pay raise and says that his brethern will ask for another raise next year. He says, "It hard being a President or a Senator, its hard".
He left abruptly and his aides opened the door to his stretch limousine with the beautiful red, white, and blue U.S. Government license tag. One knowledgeable bystander remarked that Representatives Mark Foley and Larry Craig used to ride together in a similar limousine, "not that there's anything wrong with that".
