Written by Pointer

Monday, 16 February 2009

image for Republicans Fire On Fort Sumter; Civil War Begins
Cantor manned the cannon while Mammy Gingrich lit the fuse

Since the loss of the Presidency and seriously reduced representation in the Senate and the House, the Republican Party has been fixing for a fight.

Minority Whip Cantor has been singing Mammy to former Republican Civil War General Newt Gingrich and is said to be sucking at the Confederate leader's teat. For all of President Abraham Lincoln Obama's attempts at averting an irreversible rift in the country, the nation seems to be drifting toward an unavoidable chasm.

That seemingly inevitable split may have come today as Cantor and his confederate militia fired upon the National Park at Fort Sumter, South Carolina.

Virginian rebel Cantor denounced Obama's bailout plan in part because it decreased the hours for visitation to this monument to the honorable state's rights movement also known as the traitorous uprising of a bunch of conservative losers who were still stuck in a long past time and culture.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
99 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more