Ted Haggard Pervs Protestants Past Pope

Funny story written by Ross Raffin

Sunday, 25 January 2009

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"Little boys beat male hookers!"

The Catholic Church has only recently recovered from the blows it took when Evangelical Ted Haggard was accused of sexual misconduct with a male's asshole.

Until recently, the Church has held a steady lead in perversity, racking up point after point as bishops and pastors come out of the kid-sized closet. However, Haggard and his church are back with vengeance, and this time it's Protestantism's asshole on the line.

Tedd Haggard now has an"overwhelming pool of evidence" suggesting that he had an ongoing sexual relationship with a male member of his 10,000 person mega-church.

Catholics argue that, in all fairness, they have a much better record for homosexual misconduct than 1/10,000. Also, the Pope reminded reporters, the Catholics went after little boys, not men in their 20s.

In response, the New Life Church argued that Haggard had a better staff on staff molestation rate: several ex-employees revealed that they left New Life Church after Haggard tried to score one for the team.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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