Pentagon - (Ass Press): Marine General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has told a press conference that he considers homosexuality to be immoral and any fag-ass pansy caught on his watch will be stripped.
"It's perverted, it's like adultery and there's enough of it in Congress for the Pentagon to be seriously worried about national security.
"But let me state this categorically, and I mean this most sincerely:
"There is no truth in the rumor that a DC masseur known only as Big Dave the Whopper is about to out a senior Pentagon official with proven links to the ex-Israeli ambassador to El Salvador Tzuriel Refael.
"There are no Joint Chiefs of Staff personnel with any proven personal interests in buggery or practices defined by the Old Testament as contrary to the natural masculinity."
Pace's interview was immediately applauded by the Pentagon as the calming and reassuring sort of statement that would put everybody's mind at ease.
Tzuriel Refael is 69.
