Doggy Bakery Sued For Fraud

Funny story written by Adam Click

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

image for Doggy Bakery Sued For Fraud
Missing ingrediant: There's no cocker in this cookie!

"There's no beagles in the bagels, no poodles in the popovers and no terriers in the tarts at Marge's Doggy Bakery...and that's fraud!" exclaimed Prosecuter Horace Crone.

The whole sorrid affair came to light after a persistant would-be vendor complained to the state's Department of Consumer Affairs. William Robert Thorton, owner of the Daisy Hill Organic Puppy Farm, became suspicious after repeated attempts to sell his product to the bakery were met with increasing hostility. "Finaly I went undercover, bought a variety of their products and had them tested. Sure enough. When the results came back there were no signs of dog in any of them."

Marge Saushedge, owner of Marge's, tells a differnet story. "I got this call from Mr. Thorton way back in June of '06, saying he had a special on beagles. Just out of curiosity I asked, "How much?". He gave me a quote and I was shocked. He went on to quote prices on terriers, collies and hound dogs, all by the pound."

"Sure, they're expensive." Mr. Thorton remembers explaining to Mrs. Saushedge, "But our puppies are all raised without anti-biotics, medications or chemicals of any kind. In addition they're fed a completely organic diet and all that costs money." Despite Mr. Thorton's repeated attempts to contact her, Marge resisted. "I mailed price lists, made follow-up phone calls, I even brought live samples to her once, to show how healthy they were. I got thrown out of her store."

"When Mr. Thorton showed us the results of the lab tests, in which there was no labrador retriever in the said goods, we had no choice but to prosecute. I have nothing but sympathy for Mrs. Saushedge. If she had called her business a doggy treat bakery, things would have been different. When people go to a doggy bakery, expecting to get doggy in their bakery, they should get doggy in their bakery."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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