Senate-hopeful, Caroline Kennedy, was running late to her first news conference in New York City yesterday. She raced out of her $10.9 million Hyannisport "cottage" in Cape Cod and jumped into her $16.7 million "JF-Kopter" that was revving up at the family heliport.
Ms. Kennedy was fetching in her ice blue Vera Wang professional jacket-and-skirt combo ($5,450), ivory Gucci pumps ($650) and matching purse ($370). As the luxury chopper took off for the Empire State, its rotor-wash casually assaulted well-wishers and tourists with pebbles and sand as they braved the electric barbed-wire fence that encircles the compound.
Several hundreds of thousands of dollars were hurled out of the helicopter as compensation to those who lost eyes and teeth. Family lawyers and PR gentry were on hand to supervise the distribution and stifle any potential lawsuits.
Meanwhile, one half hour later, Lady Caroline arrived in New York City at the Fulton Street heliport and, smiling and waving, jumped into her $150,000 Aston-Martin guarded by one hundred of the Big Apple's Finest. She sped off to her Cooper Union rendezvous with the Press Corps as her retinue ignored the traffic lights and the three cyclists who were trying to get an autograph.
One escaped with only a crushed foot, the other is currently undergoing a fourth surgery for a ruptured spleen, and as for the third, services will be held next Thursday at Woodlawn Cemetery.
Thanks to the last viable offspring of the late President, "Taps" will be played by Itzak Perlmann and the New York Phiharmonic ($250,000).
