Nader bores himself sick

Funny story written by Frank Cotolo

Thursday, 10 June 2004

image for Nader bores himself sick
Just before collapsing from boredom, Ralph Nader gesticulates.

BUCKWORTHY, Md. -- Presidential candidate and consumer advocate Ralph Nader was rushed to a hospital during a campaign speech.

Aides say that he bored himself to exhaustion.

"It has been coming to a head," said a Nader aide, "and it has been building up. He is so tiresome that he loses all interest in what he is saying."

Aides said they have asked Mr. Nader to be more animated and to make more gestures during speeches in an effort to keep him awake.

Insiders said Mr. Nader has been growing weary of his own voice and his political message and that a collapse was only a matter of time.

Doctors say Mr. Nader was in stable condition, aware and awake when brought into the hospital.

"But he is in despair," said one doctor, "because he needs something to get him excited again. The current Presidential campaign is not doing it for him. Neither is his platform or his political stance."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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