Written by Aspartame Boy

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

image for Aspartame Approved for Water Treatment Plants
Mrs. Lushsmokker, your guide dog is crapping on the carpet

PHILADELPHIA - People ordering sodas in diners around town are very pleased to report, "No more chlorine taste in the soda".

Sodas (pop to us out West) have tasted terrible in this town due to all the chlorine used to kill germs in the water. No more! Philadelphia is adding aspartame to the water to sanitize it. Makes for some great tasting soda. And it's so sweet.

"I used to hate to order a fountain drink when I went out due to all the chlorine. Now, all I do is drink.", said Mrs. Lushsmokker.

The folks at the water works explained that aspartame is much more toxic to germs than chlorine, thanks to the 10% methyl alcohol available when the aspartame is dumped in.

"We proof test our water, now!", quipped the lead engineer, waving his white cane around for emphasis.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Aspartame, water

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