Cyberspace - A scourge of lame aspartame stories may the next big thing to plague Internet users. Recognized as virulent spam variant the stories by can be easily distinguished from subjects of interest by their unimaginative story line and repeated use of the word "aspartame."
Currently isolated to the Spoof.com "Asperspam" as it is known, ironically is the brain-child of TheSpoof.com owner Mark Lowton who recently has fallen into bad times due to the world-wide credit crunch and crushing debt to his financial backer, Winters and Winters, the world's largest manufacturer of aspartame.
Cracks are starting to appear in the Lowton Empire. TheSpoof.com fans are outraged that Lowton has "sold-out" and normally docile TheSpoof.com writers have started feuding.
Lowton denies he has lowered his standards to promote aspartame.
"All stories are reviewed for content and originality before I rubber stamp them."
Winters and Winters CEO conjoined twins Edgar and Wilson Winters says they will issue a public statement over the next several weeks formatted as a series of Spoof.com stories that they think are "pretty good."
"We wrote them ourselves while supervising shift work at our packing plant in Barnsley."
"Don't believe that rubbish about Lowton outsourcing authorship overseas to India to a cadre of call-centre workers who answer "Hello this is Brian, how may I help you."