EMMAUS, Penn. Ben Dover, of Emmaus has reported that he has been using aspartame in his pool now instead of chlorine for about a year now.
"It saves us a lot of money,and my dog likes to lick it off me when I get out of the pool. We had our water tested, and there are no germs in there; even though we find a dead dog floating in there about once a week.
"We had trouble finding pure aspartame. The company thought we might be some kind of crazy researcher trying to prove that aspartame kills people. Ha! Far from it. Since I started swimming in 1% aspartame solution, my hair has even got thicker, among other things.
"Anyway, we found some on Ebray. So we bought enough for the year, about 100 pounds. Well, I gotta go, my dogs is throwing up again!"
"OK. I think I get the picture here. Mind if I dial 911?"
