Beaver Creek To Possibly Undergo Some Changes

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

The mayor of Beaver Creek, South Carolina has announced that the entire town could be replaced in the near future by a super-dooper-Wally-Mart.

"The city council and I have seen the plans and they look great", stated Mayor Halls. "Instead of just being on the map as "Beaver Creek" the whole world will see the very first Super-Dooper Wally-Mart. No replacing Mom & Pop type store either as there'll be a whole section of those, located behind the Wally-Mart county road crew section."

Among other things projected for the new facility: Two movie theaters, 4 super-dooper groceries, 22 restaurants from Mexican to Chinese (The local Big Beaver Burger will be in the middle of the Food Court), two ethnic groceries, one healthfood store, a bowling alley, new courthouse and city hall, 20 churches of all denominations or non-denominations, a mosque, synagogue, olympic-sized pool and 35 apartment complexes.

"We're thrilled", stated the Mayor. "My new office right next to the Bank of America is gorgeous and over 1,000 Bucky Countians are to be employed here. There's a kiddie pool where you can wade or toss in pennies while the older folks fish in the Green River which runs through the north side. Think of the gas we'll save and where else can a person live their entire lives and be buried in the Super-Dooper Wally-Mart cemetery kept up by the jailbirds who inhabit a section on the second floor?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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