Supermarket chain unveils new delivery service for the sick

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Thursday, 23 October 2008

image for Supermarket chain unveils new delivery service for the sick
The view of the Bestco shelves from a man with sight problems

The Bestco supermarket chain, best known for it's huge retail outlets erected on every available space and school football field, has decided to extend its home delivery service to the sick and dying.

Explaining its thinking, the director of operation at the store chain, Des Rezz, said that this was about the only group of people, apart from the dead, that the supermarket hadn't yet offered its delivery service to.

He went on to say that when he was at a meeting to discuss better ways of dispensing with local corner shops altogether, one of his fellow directors let out an exasperating gasp. Hearing this he coined the phrase "Every little whelps".

On the way home from the meeting, Mr Rezz then accidentally reversed into a pensioner who he mistakenly thought was going to buy something from a corner shop instead of from Bestco. It was only when he was accompanying the pensioner to the hospital that he thought of yet another catchy slogan, "You drop, we shop".

He said; "This is perfect. We can now serve the sick and the dying throughout the land who may not be able to pop into a Bestco for themselves. All they have to do is use their extortionately expensive bedside phones or internet to send an order, and we'll deliver to their bedside in any hospital, nursing home or mortuary."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more