Joe The Plumber Becomes A Country Music Star

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Joe The Plumber Becomes A Country Music Star
Joe of Country Joe The Plumber & The Septic Tank Band

NASHVILLE, Tennessee - Samuel Wurzelbacher (aka Joe The Plumber) is on the verge of counry music stardom. His band Country Joe The Plumber & The Septic Tank Band will be going into the recording studio and recording their first album entitled, 'It's My Damn Trailer So The Friggin' Lid Stays Up.'

Wurzelbacher has just signed a contract with a Nashville public relations and management firm 'Rednecks Be Us'. Joe told a reporter for The Nashville Chronicle Cajoler that he cannot believe how fast things are moving.

He said, "Hell just a few weeks ago I was plumbing away knee deep in deep sh*t and today, I'm getting ready to go into the recording studio and make an album. I have been pinching myself so much lately that it looks like I sat my redneck ass down face first in a fire ant bed."

Joe's manager Beaudro 'Lefty' Wright said that he has already put together a group of five of the best musicians in Nashville. And they will comprise Joe's backup band. The five are all studio musicians who have worked with such country music artists as Shania Twain, Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood, George Strait and Charlie 'Chicken Coop' Cooper & The Chicken Finger-Lickin' Band.

The famed Nashville song writing team of Pettigrew, Pangburn, Paxton, and Pinkerton have already written the ten songs that will appear on Joe's first album (CD).

Pedro Pettigrew who was a plumber before he became an award winning songwriter said, "Having been in the plumbing business myself I know only too well all about the heartache, the anguish, the melancholy, and the sadness that is a part of the plumbing world. And I have to admit that a couple of the songs in the album are actually chapters in the plumbing soundtrack of my life."

Country Joe The Plumber & The Septic Tank Band's first CD is entitled: 'It's My Damn Trailer So The Friggin' Lid Stays Up.'

  1. Let Me Be The One Who Fixes The Leak In Your Love Life
  2. I Knew It Was True Love When She Bought Me A Stillson Wrench For Her Birthday
  3. I Promise You My Love Will Unclog The Stopped Up Drain Of Your Failed Marriage
  4. From The Very First Moment That I Laid My Eyes On Her, I Knew That I Would End Up Waving The Service Charge
  5. You Say Commode, I Say Toilet, What The Hell's The Difference
  6. The Sewage System Of Our Love Is Broken, So I Guess That It's Goodbye And Adios Sacajawea
  7. I Replaced The Leaking Faucet In Her Broken Heart For Free
  8. Our Sweet Love Like Her Bathtub Drain Sure Turned Sluggish Pretty Damn Quick
  9. I've Got The Overflowing Septic Tank Blues
  10. Her Ex-Husband Treated Her Like A Pink Tablet In A Urinal

Joe's manager 'Lefty' Wright stated that he has already lined up some personal appearances including The Pottawatomie County Country Music Hoe Down and Guppy Fish Fry (Kansas) on November 8, The 19th Annual Dolly Parton Cow Milking Contest & Banana Seed Spitting Competition in Memphis on December 13, and Reba McEntire's 55th Birthday party on March 28, 2009 at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas.

He also added that he is in the process of lining up corporate sponsorships which include Lone Star Beer, Gladiola Flour, Gingham Brand Ladies Britches, Redneck Ruby's Sun Tanning Lotion, and Grandma Gretchen's Blue-Haired Granny Hair Salve.

The album 'It's My Trailer So The Friggin' Lid Stays Up' is on The What's That Font Called Record Label and will soon be available at hardware stores, feed and seed stores, John Deere dealerships, Piggly Wiggly Supermarkets, county jail lobbies, and most Dairy Queens.

In a related story, Senator Barack Obama, soon-to-be President Barack Obama called up Joe and asked him to play at the presidential victory party at the White House, but Joe had to decline the offer since he said that he was already booked to play at the ribbon cutting grand opening ceremony of Cornbread Cora's Bar & Grill in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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