Washington, D.C. - A political pundit today released several computer-based scenarios in which he claims to predict how Barack Obama could still plausibly lose the presidential election come November 4, despite his double-digit lead in the polls against John McCain.
"It's not all that difficult to lose even with his [Obama] substantial lead," said Roger Goldman, a political pundit. "For instance, in just one of the computer models I have run clearly shows that if the state of California breaks away at the San Andres earthquake fault line and sinks into the Pacific Ocean, Obama could still plausibly lose the election to McCain."
Goldman readily admits that even if such a catastrophe were to befall the state of California before Election Day, the election outcome would still be a toss up.
"In fact, Obama would still win," said Goldman. "However, only by a few million popular votes and three dozen or so Electoral College votes."
Other Goldman computer models show scenarios in which Obama loses on November 4, however unlikely.
"The one least likely to occur is also, incidentally, the most horrifying," said Goldman. "For instance, aliens from the movie 'Aliens' could show up at polling places throughout the South West, cocooning voters waiting in line to cast their ballots for Obama."
Then while in the voting booth, suddenly their hatchlings could burst out of the chests of the electorates, according to Goldman.
"However, that's not the scary part," continued Goldman. "As after discarding the Obama supporters lifeless carcasses, the interstellar creatures then proceed to press the Diebold touch-screen, voting for Obama. Only it registers as a vote for McCain. Now that scenario is downright horrifying."