CERN physicists report "Mothman" sighting in the main LHC particle accelerator tube during test firing

Written by Robert W. Armijo

Friday, 12 September 2008

image for CERN physicists report "Mothman" sighting in the main LHC particle accelerator tube during test firing

Geneva, Switzerland - Careful digital analysis of the first test firing of the LHC at CERN has confirmed the image of a moth-like figure appearing in the main particle accelerator tube microseconds into the controversial experiment. It is a ghostly grainy image taken by an electronic microscope and therefore cannot be seen by the naked eye, made visible only with the further assistance of enhanced digital photography.

"The evidence is irrefutable," said Thomas Redding, a former CERN physicist who was terminated for commenting on the image. "The image is clearly that of a moth-like creature that made appearances to warn people of impending cataclysmic events like those in West Virginia in the United States. I believe it is warning us too. Telling us to stop the experiment."

Officials at CERN, however, have quickly moved to dismiss the moth-like image and its message of impending doom as nothing more than side effects of radiation produced by microcosmic gravity wells that the LHC is generating every time it creates a miniature black hole, strange matter, vacuum bubble or magnetic monopole.

"It's probably nothing more than background radiation," said Paul Hinky, physicist and LHC project coordinator. "You know, like the kind the Universe makes when its unraveling. I guess our recording equipment must have picked that up. I'll get one of our quantum mechanics right on it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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