Fox News reporter scalped by phony Indian at Democratic Convention protest

Funny story written by Francine Fishpaw

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Fox News reporter, Griff Jenkins, who was covering protests at the 2008 Democratic Convention, who had disappeared early that day was found this evening wandering aimlessly around the streets of Denver wearing only underwear and completely scalped.

Griff Jenkins was previously seen trying to interview wannabe fake Indian and social miscreant Ward Churchill as he was to speak at a rally of people called Followers, Outlaws, Organized and Lawless Society, or F.O.O.L.S. for short, before he disappeared.

Fox news contacted the Denver police department to report that their reporter, Griff Jenkins, had gone missing and they were concerned for his safety.

Loopy BocaGrande, spokesperson for the F.O.O.L.S., stated that earlier that day Griff Jenkins of Fox News had confronted their grand leader, the wannabe American Indian and former university professor, Ward Churchill, before he was going to address their organization. She said Churchill pulled out a plastic tomahawk that he carries around to make him appear Native American and attacked Jenkins as he persisted to ask Churchill questions. BocaGrande said she could not see what happened to Jenkins after that because other F.O.O.L.S. had descended on Jenkins and she could not see him as he was swallowed up by the crowd.

"Man, it was like the sixties all over again, but this time with only a handful of people", explained Loopy BocaGrande, as she wolfed down her McDonalds egg McMuffin and drank her Starbucks coffee. "That Fox News reporter represents the corporate fat cats and the criminal United States regime of AmeriKKKa as it tramples on the masses". "Ward Churchill is like a chief if he was ever to be a real Indian and stuff", Loopy added.

Loopy BocaGrande, who called in sick from her job at Bank of America, said she never misses any anti-corporate protests by the F.O.O.L.S.

Griff Jenkins was taken to Denver General Hospital and the Fox News reporter, besides having lost his hair, appeared to have only minor bumps and scratches and a very severe wedgy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more