Bush reveals plan to eliminate poverty

Funny story written by NickFun

Sunday, 29 June 2008

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Arizona senator John McCain hopes to follow in Bush's footsteps.

U.S. President George W. Bush revealed today that he has maintained a secret agenda to wipe out poverty in the U.S. by systematically eliminating poor people.

"Since my inauguration I have made it a priority to eliminate poverty in this country", Bush said in a prepared statement. "The best way to eliminate poverty is to eliminate poor people".

Bush claimed that he started the war in Iraq in an attempt to wipe out the poor. Most of the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan are poor. Also, Bush deliberately prevented levees from being reinforced during Hurricane Katrina and prevented transportation services from allowing poor people to escape the devastation. This has resulted in million of dollars in savings per year in welfare payments, medical care, transportation and other services being provided for free to people that cannot afford them.

Meanwhile, the wealthier residents in New Orleans and other cities affected by the hurricane were able to climb into their personal vehicles and spend money at hotels thus stimulating the economy.

"Last week I saw a video of a hospital in Alabama that was full of poor people", Bush continued. "Many of these people had cancer. Some had advanced liver disease. Some were on kidney dialysis devices. Some were badly injured from falls or uninsured traffic accidents. And we're supposed to give these people care for free?"

Bush stated that when well-trained medical professionals treat poor and indigent people this leaves fewer resources for the wealthy and well-insured that can afford those services.

"It is my hope that by eliminating poverty we wil once again have a healthy and prosperous nation!" Bush concluded his speech.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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