Clinton Launches Bid to Recoup Losses

Funny story written by Dr.D

Monday, 9 June 2008

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Hillary Clinton arms raised

A Washington insider confirmed today that Hillary Clinton has pulled together a coalition of high profile political women to help her recover the 11 plus million dollars she lent her own campaign in a losing bid to be the Democratic candidate for President of the United States. Sources say there is a great deal of buzz coming from the back rooms of the nation's capitol in anticipation of this project.

It was leaked to our "embedded" (no pun intended) reporter that a "tastefully done," semi-nude, mid-year calendar titled, "Naughty Girls of Washington," is due to be released on July 4th, to take advantage of the "fireworks" tradition associated with that date.

Barbara "X-Box" Boxer kicks it off as Ms. July; "Naughty" Nancy Pelosi slips in as Ms. August; Diane "She's-so" Feinstein is their September surprise; and Mattie "maybe baby" Albright "tricks and treats" as Ms. October.

As you "turn the page" to November, a musical "chip" is triggered that plays Sir Elton's classic hit "The Bitch is Back," and Hillary "whose your momma" Clinton pops up holding a large rectal thermometer in one hand, and a list of Washington health insurance lobbists in the other, wearing "what 49 million Americans have-- no coverage."

A spokesperson for the project says, in what some call the most radical political move in American history, if there is a "floor fight" at the convention and Clinton is drafted then elected, she promises to appoint Condoleeza Rice "Secretary of Interior" (head of house cleaning), Ann Coulter "Queen of infectious diseases" (such as the dreaded "hoof-in-mouth), and Barbara Bush as the "Minister of Mad Cow" (with pearls).

All Washington wants to know, what about her husband Bill? Mrs. Clinton seemed to infer, by what was characterized as a nearly "inaudible utterance," that he will continue his work promoting "small business" through his infamous "Tamale Wagon" projects for female interns.

The calendar will be banned at airport men's rooms, and other Republican events.

Dr.D

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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