Mortgage crisis spreads to the afterlife as cemetery plot prices plummet

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 7 June 2008

image for Mortgage crisis spreads to the afterlife as cemetery plot prices plummet
Real estate prices continue to plummet, taking down cemetery plot prices under with it

Los Angeles, California - Real estate was once considered a sound investment simply because God is not making anymore more of it, but even the best of things can be undone by the devil that lives in the details. So, as real estate prices continue to plummet, they are now taking down cemetery plot prices under with it.

Many of the cemetery plots are traditionally located next to family members who have gone on before to the undiscovered country, which means both seller and buyer of the cemetery plots must be willing to depart with the idea of resting alongside their beloved, waiting for the resurrection with complete strangers instead of next to beloved family members.

"Actually, we've discovered that, that is a selling point, especially when it comes to old married couples and son-in-laws," said Mark Morbius, a Pre-Planner at Ever Green Hills.

Meanwhile mausoleum spaces, considered the "Condo" of the cemetery real estate market, oddly enough, remain stable.

"We can't explain it, really, except to say that people are factoring in the savings on having to avoid the purchase of a coffin and headstone," said Morbius. "Then again, it could be that the clientele they tend to attract are young urban professionals that work hard, play hard and as a result tend to die hard."

As a result, the mausoleum market sector has been immune to surrounding falling cemetery plot prices, having acquired a party reputation in the afterlife.

In an attempt to head off further declining cemetery plot prices, cemeteries throughout the country have disembarked on a new advertisement campaign as result, discouraging the resale of cemetery plots that is causing an inventory backlog of pushing down the plot prices even further.

"We have hired psychics to channel the dead relatives of the sellers of the cemetery plots," said Morbius. "It is our hope that they can convince their living relatives from the afterlife not to sell their plots to strangers or they will haunt them."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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