Obama & Clinton Go For "Obvious" Strategy

Funny story written by Ed E. Druckman

Friday, 9 May 2008

(Washington, D.C.) On CNN's "Situation Room", in his first interview after a major victory over Senator Hillary Clinton in the North Carolina primary, Senator Barack Obama has begun what many political analysts have called his "state the obvious" strategy.

When asked by CNN's Blitzer what he would do if he were President Obama responded, "The world wants to see the United States lead. A President leads. Therefore, I will lead." Blitzer waited for Obama to outline how he would actually lead. And when that wasn't coming, he asked the Senator for his leadership plan. "I think there is still a sense that if the United States regains its sense of who it is and our values and our ideals, we will continue to set the tone for a more peaceful and prosperous world. To do that you need to lead." Blitzer again asked the question of how. The usually cool Obama was visibly frustrated and shot back, "Mr. Blitzer, I believe the definition of leading is to be at the head of a line. Is that not clear?"

Blitzer moved on and thought it was an isolated incident until he asked the Senator about his plan for Iraq. "I think Iraq is a country on this planet, and I don't see that changing."

Oddly, the same strategy seems to be developing in the Clinton camp. Speaking to a gathering of former meth lab technicians at an IHOP in West Virginia, Hillary Clinton proclaimed, "People said I should drop out before the West Virginia primary. Well, I didn't. And you know what that means? That's right. I didn't."

After hearing the statement by Senator Clinton, members of the Obama campaign were quick to respond, like West Virginia local campaign organizer Adam Sweete. "This appalls me, " said Sweete. "It shows that the Clinton camp is truly running and playing low. It also shows exactly who the next President should be." When Sweete was asked who that should be, his answer showed his devotion to Obama's new strategy. "I can say for certain not George Bush."

Clinton campaign co-chairman Terry McAuliffe was quick to deny any charges of Hillary Clinton co-opting Obama's strategy. "First, if we're talking about stating the obvious, I can think of no person more opposed to that. I mean she's still married to Bill Clinton. This guy has a lifetime pass to the Playboy Mansion. He makes Gene Simmons look like a harem eunuch."

In a phone interview, current chairman of the Democratic Party Howard Dean was asked if the strategy of both candidates stating the obvious shows a lack of party direction. "If by a lack of direction you mean having no direction, I think by the very fact that they have no direction means they have a direction."

In a related note, the official White House printer has already begun sending John McCain paper stationary samples.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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