WASHINGTON, DC - In a candid interview with ABC's Barbra Walters, George W. Bush heaped praise upon Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, hailing him as the true definition of a tyrant.
"Whoa, that guy is pure evil," said an excited Bush. "He makes Karl Rove look like a pantywaist!
"He's the real deal alright. First he loses the election, then he refuses to step down and starts beating the opposition and burning them out of their homes. Priceless! Kinda makes you wish we could get ridda that whole democracy and do it that way in America, don't it?"
Bush applauded Mugabe for his quick wit, his refusal to cave to pressure, and his determination to drive Zimbabwe into complete and utter ruin.
"I just love the way he demonstrates such great leadership and determination," said Bush. "The way he is so set on driving the country into the shitter while he reaps the benefit is beyond admirable. Kinda reminds me a little bit of myself, in fact."
Bush claimed that he has been a longtime fan of Mugabe, but says he became a true admirer of the despot when the Zimbabwean President first grabbed international attention in 2002.
"Oh man did you see the way he manipulated those elections in 2002, and then again in 2005?" said Bush. "That was awesome. Kinda reminds me of my younger days, rigging votes in Florida."
"Makes me proud to know I secretly supplied his troops with the weapons they're using in that crackdown over there."