Former Obama Pastor Wright Defends Statements

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 28 April 2008

image for Former Obama Pastor Wright Defends Statements
Why can't they just ignore our drug use?

Reverend Jeremiah Wright, the controversial former Pastor of Senator and Presidential candidate Barack Obama, attempted to defend his position in an address to the NAACP yesterday. He has been in the news lately for statements that AIDS was created by whites to kill blacks and saying "God damn America" as opposed to "God bless America."

Wright feels that the "Whitey controlled media" misunderstands the black church and it's goals. "In fact," said the minister, "I never said nothing against those honkies. If them Kike lovin' pasties wanna misquote, me, let 'em. You can't trust them Hymies or their toadie spics, wops, or krauts."

"They may call us jungle bunnies, they may call us spear chuckers, they may call us nappy headed ho's, but we shall rise above. I have a dream. I see a world where all people, regardless of color or race or religion or nationality, all live together in peace and harmony because they worship their black brothers for our superiority!"

"When will they come to understand that we are just better than them? When will they stop jailing our best and brightest just because they break the white man's laws? When will they stop attempting to take away our rightfully earned welfare checks just because our women keep having babies out of wedlock? When will they stop failing our children in schools because they refuse to attend classes, turn in assignments, or speak and write in proper English? When will they stop calling down our music that promotes gang violence, murder, rape, prostitution, drug use, and torture?"

"When will they stop trying to hold us down and put us back on the plantation?"

When asked if he had any comment on the Reverend's words, Conservative radio personality Rush Limbaugh replied that "no, he said it all for me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more