No Ban on Bull's Balls

Funny story written by Walt

Monday, 28 April 2008

image for No Ban on Bull's Balls
"Which of you wimps wants this pair?"

Last week in Tallahassee, FL USA, members of the State Senate voted to ban "fake bull testicles" that are often hung from the trailer tow hitches on pickups & cars. There would have been a $60 fine for putting a bogus scrotum attachment on a vehicle.

A senator, offended by the fake nutsacks dangling from rigs in front of him, initiated the legislation. Some observors described the bill as "nuts."

Many senators, who already had a pair of their own, opposed the proposed regulation as a foolish effort to prevent freedom of expression by drivers, which would not be upheld in court. Apparently members of the House took the bull by the horns & left the ban on phony bull's balls out of the overall transportation bill.

Most traditional media chose not to report this story in order to avoid the puns, double entendres, & ribaldry that would develop from such coverage. Comparisons of brass, chrome-plated, & leather versions of the huge cojones put most editors off the story.

A couple of female sports reporters noted that the editors they worked for had wives who each kept a pair in a jar on the mantel at home. One of the ladies also commented that the hitch ornaments may be a form of goal-setting by most of the over-compensating drivers.

The other lady mentioned a few locker room interviews, an ex-husband, & a few boyfriends before suggesting that the well-hung trucks represent wishful thinking & false advertising. She also added, "Besides, for most of those idiots a big pair is a useless accessory slung from an unused attachment."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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