A document from The Whitey House, discovered near a urinal on Capitol Hill, has been turned over to The Spoof. Its contents follow:
"TO: Paul Wolfowitz
FRUM: Yer Leader
Deerest Wolfzy,
You know yer My faverit person in My Blessed Adminnastrayshun. In fact you and Ariel the Aryan Sharon are My faverit Yids. I gotta hand it to you Jews, you don't put up with nuthin. (Exceptin for Chairman Greedspam. Can he speak real english?)
Anyway, Wolfblitz, I jotted down sum notes about sum areas where I'm needin sum more back ground sum time soon.
When can we stop actin like we care about Yessir Eatmyfat and His Fellow Palacetinian PigMe Clan and all the Gaza Plaza Commakaze Bombers?
Who said "Walk loudly and carry a big dick?" I wanna know.
What have The Mad Ivans and President Putout been doin lately? Their to quiet. I don't like it. (Did I right that write, Wolfpits?)
Do Kurds drink only kurdled milk?
How dare anyone sugjest that we're hippocrits for wantin to take weapons away from dictaters and terrorrists. Who started this rumer about us piece luvin Americans? Was it the Squermin Turks, Kim Puny Pickle Dong in Peeyongdingdong, John John Vietnam Fairy? Who was it and what are we gonna do about it, Wolfzits?
I reminded Myself that I gotta ask My Daddy if its OK to be kinder and gentler without a thousand points of lite. (Think thats OK to do, Wolfpuke?)
If Rome wasn't bilt in a day, how long did it take?
And finallee, concernin Homeland Insecurity...I got a few queschuns for Directer Rigid. In our Wildlee Unaccurit Pearanoid Terrorrist Thret Alert Sistum, why isn't there a Commie Pink Pussy level between the Yellow and Orange Warning cullers? And is it possabull to blow up Niggrow Dumbocrat areas, like West Memfiss and East Cleveland, and make it look like Ahabs did it?
I a wait yer coments and in sites, Wolfspit."
Assistant Secretary Wolfbloodwits, studying for his Bar Mitzvah (that has been postponed since 1966) and filming a sequel to The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz, was unavailable before press time.
A spokesman for the president issued the following statement: "Our Leader has never been near a urinal on Capitol Hill, and, to our knowledge, He has never written anything by Himself in His life."
