Commission for Racial Equality Investigates The Spoof

Funny story written by alex palamedes

Tuesday, 20 April 2004

The Commission for Racial Equality today said it was looking into allegations made against The Spoof. Although multiculturalism was "out of date", what was needed was British monoculturalism with lots of rights for valued minorities, said Trevor Philips. Integration could not be achieved, for example, by jettisoning Skakespeare and the canon of English literature for third rate, ‘politically correct' authors, who preached a culture of resentment. "I want to kill off multiculturalism - it means the wrong things, like separateness."

The CRE would now devote a large part of its resources into investigating racism beyond discrimination against black and asian ethnic minorities. "Anglo-Saxon racism is not confined to descendants of former colonial subjects. A latent raical hierarchy still allows for racist attitudes that were prevalent around the beginning of the 20th Century. Even those who espouse pro-black and asian attitudes sublimate a pathological urge to express superiority onto so-called ‘dirty white' races." The discrimination against Serbs witnessed throughout the 1990s was one example of the Anglo-Saxon need to project its empire guilt onto "retro independent dirty happy communist white men."

A spokeswoman identified a SPOOF story as an example of where multiculturalism has taken us. ‘Greeks say we're ready - for our fat Greek Olympics' she said, was uacceptable in the nascent climate of enlightened monoculturalism. "Replace the word Greek with Black, Jewish, or Asian, and even a multiculturalist will smell racial supremacism."

References to "‘so many of the building sites strewn with the bodies of dead Greek workmen, some of whom actually did something before they sacrificed themselves' that make 'so many of the building sites just resembling building sites strewn with Greek salads and olives' only reinforce Anglo-Saxon imperial stereotypes of Mediterranean races as primitive and lazy. Try replacing that with Black or Jewish, or talk about dead Blacks or Jews making building sites look like rice and peas or a bagel explosion, we'll prosecute you in double quick time," she added.

‘Igno-racism' was as dangerous as traditional racism, she said, explaining how an ‘evil Serb' stereotype had prepared a self-congratulatory 'anti-racist' Anglo-Saxon and German conscience for the destruction of a country. There was a difference, she insisted, between intelligent discussion about cultural or even racial differences, and making jokes about the deaths of dark skinned races - which runs counter to T.S. Eliot's criterion for humanism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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